MySpace-December 27, 2008-Apartment Review

I've lived in Columbia since August of 2001. I won't leave until May of 2010. That's a long time. And in that time (up to now at least) I have moved into seven places and out of six. Baring any terrible event, I don't plan on moving again until I graduate. (That May of 2010.) I was thinking back last night on the places that I have lived and the pros/cons of them.

1-Schurz Hall-MU campus-Room 210-August 2001-May 2002-I shared a 10'x10' (or was it 12'x12'?) room with a small girl from Canada. Things went well for the most part. I think the most annoying part was that most of the time we also shared the room with her very large black boyfriend, Scorpio. He was there alot for going to school three hours away.

2-Schurz Hall-MU campus-Room 220-August 2002-May 2003-I shared this small space with Martha. I think/know that a lot more yelling went on in this room but there was no black boyfriend to deal with at least. Martha and I were good friends and I think having her as a roommate at one point was great.

3-Holiday House-109 N. Stadium, Apartment 38-August 2003-August 2004-I lived in this apartment with Bizzaro Leslie. Despite being older, the apartment itself was nice. The pool was nice. The halls however always smelled terrible and often had loose children running through them. Children that were under three years old and locked out of their own apartments and would take the chance of going through an unlocked door if available. This place had a ghetto bus that took me into school and was close enough to walk to Hy-Vee even though I drove. This is where I learned that I didn't like having a roommate. The water was always being shut off for one reason or another. Our mail was stolen once. And I was yelled at by our crazy downstairs neighbor, Terry (who I still occasionally see and am terrified of) at 6am one day because my roommate was using the 'exercise machine'. Even though someone was stabbed (to death I think) in the parking lot, it still made a good starter apartment.

4-401 S. College Apartment B-August 2004-August 2005-I lived alone in a studio in an old white house that had been converted into apartments. Upstairs were three guys, next door was a creepy drunk that was deaf and kept odd hours and had OCD tendencies and downstairs was a girl that one night I ran into in the dark in the back yard. I literally wet myself. My studio was always cold but had huge bills! I had a cool front and back door. The back door I had to break into once when I locked my keys in the apartment. There was a closet under the stairs (that went up to the upstairs apartment) in which I could hide if there was a tornado. There was a porch. Misti and Greg were the coolest landlords and helped me out to find another one of their places when I was dumb and didn't resign the lease for this one. I didn't know what was going on. I would later see the downstairs apartment in my quest to find Joe a place. Stars aligned that day and the guy downstairs had lived previously upstairs and then in the 5 place after me too. And he liked Tom Waits. I forget the reason Joe didn't take the place.

5-2400 S. Providence Apartment B-August 2005-August 2006-After foolishly not resigning my lease, Greg and Misti put me up in one side of a duplex. It sat nestled in the woods and no one knew where it was. It was hot in the summer (because I was afraid of the AC unit in the wall) and very cold in the winter. This is where the den of warmth was invented. Occasionally, the kitchen light would fall down. I had a yard and deer frequently visited and scared me. My neighbor wasn't often home but was always pregnant. Unlike the studio, which was cool-y decorated, I didn't really bother to hang much of anything up here as this was supposed to be temporary...which became a year. Frei decorated my front porch one morning for my birthday while I was milking and the gas man came by later to turn back on the gas (a problem that wasn't all that rare) and said it was his birthday too. One 4th of July, I found a dead cat in the driveway.

6-Providence Hill Apartments-2305 S.Providence Apartment J-August 2006-August 2008-This was supposed to be my home for the entirity of vet school. I could have my dog. I had vaulted ceilings and all the AC/heat I could handle. I had a washer/dryer. It was nice even after Riley ate holes in the walls and Roosevelt destroyed the carpet. I think that its a close tie between this place and the studio of which I liked better. This was the only place that I had lived at longer than a year.

7-Providence Hill Apartments-2319 S. Providence Apartment B-August 2008-present-Something must of charmed me about moving in with Joe because here I am. Living across the parking lot from my old place has its advantages. Sharing rent makes it cheaper. I have a covered parking space. I have internet. Still have cable. Still have all of the AC/heat I can handle. The washer and dryer are here but if the washer decides to spin is another story. There are no holes in the walls-giant scratch marks yes. Ruined carpet, yes. I do however have some rather rude neighbors that never know where their parking spot is. Joe and I are always plotting revenge on them for that and for the loud parties/music. I think we plan on staying here until I graduate. Mostly because Joe hates moving.

[EDIT-originally published to Blogger-12/24/11]

MySpace-December 19, 2008-Still 12 Years Old

 It may surprise you but I think about horses. A lot.
And even though I have a barn full of my own, they never capture my imagination as much as when they aren't around. And even though, I am on equine and have basically unlimited access to horses, I think about them even more.
I've always written about them. About fast race horses, about slow racehorses. Even stories that didn't involve horses up front somehow found a way to have a horse included in them. My high school history teacher found it amazing that every project that I did, that I managed to sneak the role of the horse in there somehow.
Anyway, I'm still thinking about horses all of the time. Making me like many 12 year old girls out there.
And now in the clinic, even though somewhere deep in my heart I know that some horses won't make it to live a better life, even though I know that some horses will end up in the big green pasture in the sky, I can't help but to think about what they were before or what the could be. I look at the skin and bones draft horse and can only picture him big and strong pulling something in the field, pulling a log out of the forest. I look into his deep brown eyes with their inch and half long lashes and see only peace and kindness. His muzzle was so soft. I can't see him for what he was-sick. But I still know that not having to live the pain any longer was the best.
I look at my racehorse and know that the surgery we did won't keep him on the track forever. But maybe one more season. One more summer of breaking through the gate, going around the turn and into the home stretch winning by a nose. I hope that's enough for him. I hope that after that he can live a life well deserved.
I think I'll always have a place in my heart for horses. I can't help but see the beauty that they hold. The way they move, the gentle curve of a neck or leg, the smell they have-warm and clean even when they are not. The way a horse holds their tail or flares their nostrils. Every part moving together like a song.
Seriously. I love horses alot. Like a 12 year old girl.


[EDIT-originally published to Blogger-12/21/11]

MySpace-December 16, 2008-Client Complaint

Current mood:angry

So I just touched on this in my abridged blog yesterday so let me give you a little back story...
Friday afternoon, I got an email from one of the hospital higher ups. The subject was Re: Come See Me. (Sounds like a demand from the principal's office!). The jist of the message was to come and see him in the next few days about a client complaint. Nothing more. I didn't know if it was directly about me, about how a case was handled or about a clinician and they needed a student's view. I was worried for most of the weekend. I thought about my cases and could only think of one or two instances where maybe the client was a little upset but it was nothing that I could of done or prevented. In fact, most of my clients loved me. I have a card to prove it.
So today, I go upstairs to the third floor and meet with this guy. First off, he asks if I have met with Dodam yet because I'd probably get this conversation again if I haven't (I hadn't.) Then he starts describing a case that infact I think about pretty often and I was sure even though that person didn't seem like the kind to complain that it was about a clinician and how the clinican treated them. (Which was rather poorly.) And then it went on...and the complaint wasn't from that client BUT it was about me.
Apparently, in talking to this client another client overheard us. Overheard me saying something like that I was a bovine person because I didn't want to deal with the emotional aspect of small animal medicine. That's the jist of it anyway. I've put it out of my mind because it makes me so upset. Anyhow, the client had complained to her vet who called the school and the client said that she was glad that I wasn't her student. (I assume because I wouldn't of cared.) Of course, this was a person that had come along way (as if other people don't) and spent thousands of dollars to prolong her dog's life by months. Which is something I don't understand but not in like a condesending way-its hard to explain. My client on the other hand, didn't have the money to spend on his 'best friend' and I was relating to him that I understood because I didn't know if I could or would spend the money on my pet no matter how much I loved them either.
So I recieved a slap on the wrist and was told to be careful to whom I say things, where I say them, etc...I was condesended to and treated like a child. I believe the phrase 'Because you've just started...' was uttered. I'm not saying that they were wrong in telling me about this or wrong in telling me that I did something wrong. I did. I shouldn't of talked to my client in the lobby where other people could of heard us even though it was 5:30 and the lobby only had like two other clients, one who apparently had nothing better to do than put her nose in other people's business.
I'm frustrated and upset for many reasons.
First, I was relating to my client, reassuring him that it was okay not to spend the money. That it was a hard choice but okay. She wasn't my client so I wasn't relating to her. Had she been my client, I would of assured her that it was okay to spend the money on her best friend. But she wasn't. Did her student do that for her? They tell us over and over not to judge our clients when they walk in, that often they surprise us. Mine didn't. I knew he wouldn't spend any money on the dog that was with him 24/7. And that's okay. Its his choice and I have to support it if I agree or not. I was relating to my client. Supporting his choice. Not hers.
Second, they called my client who had nothing but nice things to say about me. I did my job. I made MY client happy.
Third, I feel like I was thrown under the bus. Never was I asked for my side of the story, asked for an explaination or anytime felt like I could of defended myself. I didn't feel that it was appropriate because it wasn't my client making the complaint, I didn't know the other part of the story. Never, I am sure, did the school suggest that maybe I was misunderstood, misheard.
Forth, this lady knew nothing of the circumstances. It didn't involve her and she put her nose where it didn't belong.
Fifth, this lady could very easily have me as her student the next time I'm upstairs and never know it. Why? Because I am compassionate. Because I am good with all of my patients, hoolved or not. Because my clients love me. Because I don't know how many times I've explained that I want to be a dairy vet only to have the clients tell me that I am so good with their dog/cat anyway. Its not some mask I wear or game I play. I truely mean it. I truely like when people love their pets. I have a new found appriciation for little white fluffy dogs.
And how did this get connected back to me anyway?
I related this tale through about half an hour of crying loudly to many of my rotation mates and they told me not to take it personally. That I realized my mistake and won't make it again. There were suggestions of that maybe this lady needed to be reassured that it was okay to spend that money, that her student didn't do that. There was the belief that I was thrown under the bus and did nothing wrong. Support that I am compassionate and a good person. Overall, every vet student I talked to had the same view. That it sucks, that this person was looking for something that didn't apply to them and that it wasn't my fault. I talked to Laura Goldman after walking the dogs and told her the story. She had the same view of course being a vet student. I then told her that I was going to go home, tell Joe the story, get into a fight and then cry some more. She suggested that I don't tell Joe. I should of listened...
I told my mom the story over the phone and you would of thought she was in vet school too. She supported me and told me that if I have to meet with Dodam that I should take a stand and defend myself. I don't want to talk to Dodam. I don't think it will change anything. There's nothing else that they can tell me not to do. They could keep me downstairs. That's pretty much the only solution I can think of at this point...but there are $1000s of dollars being spent on horses too. Basically, when it comes to it, I want a nice way to tell Dodam to fuck off and that I don't need scolded again.
And then I told Joe the story. After three years of dating, I SHOULD be able to tell my boyfriend about my day, especially if he asks, which he did. Maybe it has something to do with lady illness, the phase of the moon or just waking Joe up, but these school stories never go over well with him. I was telling him the story and he said he was on my side but he kept bringing up the other side. Don't you think that I've already thought of that side? That I have been running it through my head over and over too? If you're on my side, don't play devil's advocate. JUST BE ON MY SIDE! JUST SUPPORT ME! That's all I ever want but never get. He always has to bring up the other side as if its his. He always says that I never believe anything is my fault and that I am never wrong. Well, I did do something wrong; it being my fault or not is debatable. It doesn't matter. Joe still launches into this whole other side, you think you're never wrong thing and it always just makes me more and more upset. Being on my side means just stopping with my side-he interrupted me telling him all of the parts where I justify what happened to me. I know the other side. I know what I did wrong.
So Joe finally stormed off to work. And the last thing he said is that he'll pack his things tomorrow. Why does he always go to that place? Like if he says he's leaving something will change. I'm still going to be mad at him. Eventually, one (or both) of us will be sorry and things will be okay until the next crazy phase of the moon. Of course, I don't want him to leave. BUT if he says those things as threats, then there's other things that should go along with them...such as actually breaking up. And I'm not going to do that. I don't believe him to do it either.
Hopefully, as always, everything will work out between me and Joe. That he'll wake up tomorrow night and we'll be okay. That is what I hope at least...I guess I have to hope that's what he believes too.


[EDIT-originally published to Blogger-12/21/11]

MySpace-December 15, 2008-Snow in Jordan

........This is a picture of snow in Jordan from January 2008. I love this picture. Look how happy that guy is. If it snowed in the Middle East a lot more often, I think there would be less problems over there, because I assume they would all become as happy as this guy and not angry and bitter at the snow like Missourians.


[EDIT-originally published to Blogger-12/21/11]

MySpace-December 15, 2008-You Know...Stuff (Abridged Version)

AHHH! I HIT A BUTTON AND MY LONG BLOG DISAPPEARED!

Here's the jist of it:
1) not tired but should be, will be at 5am when I think about waking up
2) currently sleeting, car is under covered spot, am fat and weak-i.e. having trouble lifting 70lb bags of sand into car, don't want ice on windshield tomorrow-will use sheet
3) did christmas shopping. Don't know what to get parents, dad expects me to come up with something for him to give to mom too
4) got an email about speaking to one of the hospital people about a client complaint, don't know more than that
5) assigned joint arthroscopy tomorrow but hate joints, surgery not involving guts and lameness
5a) like doing treatments on horses every hour because its organized!
6) worked ICU all day saturday, hadn't seen Joe since Friday
7) ate Ruby Tuesday's on Friday and got sick


[EDIT-originally published to Blogger-12/21/11]

MySpace-December 9, 2008-Three Is A Magic Number

Its Joe's and I's anniversary. We've been dating for three years.
Where am I? Working an ICU shift. Joe's at work, too. So much for romantic evenings.
When I've told people that today, Joe and I have been dating for three years, people have seemed to have the same reaction. The reaction between males is surprisingly like that of females-'Really?! Wow! When are you getting married? That's a long time!'
Some people would take offense to being accused of not being near marriage after such a time. But I don't. I know that Joe and I are on the same page and its simply a matter of money until there is a fancy little piece of jewelry on my finger. Now that the Slick Vic isn't so slick any more, it just might be longer...And I'm okay with that. Until May of 2010 anyway. Then all bets are off and Joe knows that.
So tonight, there are no romantic dinners at a fancy resturant. No homecooked meals sure to scare Riley under the couch. Instead its sick horses and hot dogs.  (Boy, I wish I had a hot dog right now.)
I've been at school since about 6:15am. Its now twenty till 8. I'll be here till roughly 12:30. Only to be back sometime just after 7am. Its going to be a long night and I just finished my soda. Sigh.
Not much else is going on. I have three patients right now. One post-op colic and the two research horses. They are all pretty good and cool. I sat in on surgery today. No guts or anything. Honestly, it was boring. And I was cold. I can do one or the other but not both. The surgery that I missed yesterday would of been much more interesting, but I was busy with the farrier.
I don't know what I work this weekend but I am planning some more sleeping time. Maybe some time to buy Christmas presents.
I think my feet are wet...


[EDIT-Originally published to Blogger on 12/12/11]

MySpace-December 6, 2008-New Block-Thoughts at 1am While At School

Well, let's see. Its just after 1am and I'm working an ICU shift at school which basically means that I get up on the hour make sure the horses aren't colicking and are still alive. There are eight patients. I think I'll manage to get alot of work done which is nice. How important this work is is a different story.
So obviously I started my new block-equine. At first, I was really scared. Then I was okay. Then I was really scared again. This alternates on a daily basis too but its getting better. I have two horses-Lucy and Talk About That-that are research horses. I pet them and brush them and make sure they are alive on an hourly basis. Wednesday, our first day, I was oncall and got another patient. He was pretty cool. Martha was the doc on call that night and she's a really good vet. She may get mad about me saying it but its true. She needs to be more confident in her ablities because she knows what's going on. Anyway, all my Peterson and Smith training came back as I held the plate for radiographs of the hock. It was like I'd done it before! And I wrapped the hock which I had practiced before on some dairy cows. Now, as I said, I'm in the ICU.
I managed to get a B in small animal medicine. At least on the internal medicine part. And if I got that grade in the part I was struggling to perform in, then I probably got it in the other too. But I did do worse on that test...
Anyway, Christmas is around the corner and things were looking bleak esp. since Joe has to buy a new car but now I got a student loan check so everyone can rest assured that they will most likely get a present from me. Or at least a pie.
So Wednesday, Laura Goldman called me. I was busy with my emergency but when I returned the call she told me that when she came home from school, the flowers in her windowsill were knocked down. She said she thought it was odd since the cat, Marley wasn't there since she belongs to Rachel Ray. She went to put them back and found a dead bird in her sink! She figured it broke its neck trying to get out. It begs the question-how did that bird get into the apartment in the first place? Laura was calling me to ask me to come over so we could share this moment of being complete girls. I envision us standing at the sink pointing at the bird and screaming little girl screams. Then the next day, Laura calls at just before 7. She said she had gone back upstairs to shut up Lilly, the dog, in her room but heard a rustling in her closet. When she opened it and looked, there was a bird in it! She called the apartment complex and eventually they came over and caught it. Or did something with it. We don't know, but do know that it was gone when she got home. The therory of how the birds got in was through the dryer vent. I pose the question-'If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, how many is two birds in an apartment worth?'


[EDIT-Originally published to Blogger on 12/7/11]

MySpace-December 3, 2008-My Washing Machine Hates Me

Tonight, I thought it would be a good idea to wash those dress clothes that I am putting away for so long. Also to wash a pair of coveralls and jeans for tomorrow. But the washing machine is evil and finally I've had enough. I managed to coax it through two loads of jeans and towels and hoodies-the most important stuff only to have it die in the middle of socks and undies-whites. Its not spinning out. And now its not rinsing either. It makes some vague attempts but now has progressed to the point of no longer giving a damn about doing its job. I'll have Joe call DBC on Thursday because he's got stuff and sleeping to do tomorrow. Maybe we'll call tomorrow for Thursday.
Anyway, in case you didn't know. Joe was in a car accident on Sunday night. He was leaving our local Shell station and on his way to work when someone ran the red light and slid into him. In the game of F150 versus Crown Victoria, I would consider it a close match. The front of the Vic was essentially ripped off and I didn't get a look at the driver's side but I'm sure that was all smashed in. The bumper had wrapped itself in a desprate embrace of the truck's tire and had to be ripped apart by the tow truck. The truck looked okay (a decent dent) and drove off to the shoulder where the tire rapidly deflated. I was up at the corner before the cops. It was cold and I stood around for Joe to take him home. He's okay. We went into the gas station afterwards and our favorite Indian/Middle Eastern? guys were working. They recognize us because we're in there all of the time. One asked Joe if I was his girlfriend because they saw us all the time but never together and we were tonight. I think that's funny that they recognize us.
I finished up small animal medicine today. We had a food day and I brought a pecan pie and a chocolate cream pie. Unfortunately, it didn't seem that the pecan pie was quite done-though very good and the whippped cream fell on the other. And the vet tech stole my thunder by bringing two homemade pies too. Ugh! I was suposed to be special. I'm glad small animal medicine is over and that I get to move downstairs. Its a huge relief. I'll be down there or at least away from small animals for a while-equine, food animal elective, EFAST and then pathology. My schedule is getting moved around nicely for this summer. I'll get it finalized sometime this week or next.
Well, I probably should go to bed. I still need to clean out my backpack for tomorrow. And my stomach hurts. I'll let you know how equine goes.

[EDIT-Originally published to Blogger on 12/3/11]