Daytime Drunk

Last Saturday, Joe and I got up reasonably early-like 8 or 8:30 and went to some yard sales. I wasn't looking for much in particular but if something caught my eye or I found a book case to replace the milkcrates in my room, that would be okay too. We traveled around Carlisle and Newville, even going as far as Mt. Holly Springs. We ultimately didn't buy much but had a good time. Afterwards, I convinced Joe that we should have lunch at the Mexican place because that's what I wanted, I was hungry and damnit, I wanted some margaritas.
Once there, Joe ordered a pitcher of frozen margaritas. Which I drank the majority of. And during this episode of daytime drunkeness, I planned our wedding. Well...the new plan for the wedding which essentially consists of finding a park, having it outdoors and soon. After leaving the resturant, we went home and slept for like five or six hours. That was nice too.
Waking up, I still figured-'Why not?' on the small immediate wedding plan. Some searching around located me little information about Carlisle parks but enough about getting a marriage license in Cumberland county. I looked online at dresses and asked a friend about a potential date-which was shot down. Since then, Joe and I have fought and I still haven't talked to my mother. We're at like one or two and half weeks since we last spoke excluding an email and a text message yesterday. Phones work both ways I figure. Essentially, this leaves me with being uncertain about where and how and when a wedding should be. I should have a serious discussion involving our fight from the other night and then use that as my motivation (or not) for investigating more on a serious wedding...

In other news, Tracy decided to cut out a week early for maternity leave. Who could blame her? So we all ran around a little filling in. Friday was a super busy day for me. When I stepped out of the shower at 6:30am, my phone informed me that I had a voice mail waiting. Thanks phone. (I was on call Thursday night.) So I found out that forty minutes earlier someone had called me with a prolasped uterus-a real emergency. And I called him back and hustled out to his farm. Luckily, he had been able to replace it on his own. Anyway, that just set in motion one of the busiest days I've had in a long time. After that, I started my morning appointment-rabies vaccination and coggins tests on about twent draft horses. For the most part, this went well though truely did take all morning. Then I hustled up to Holly Pike for a full schedule of appointments which were primarily rechecks, skin disease and suture removals with some cats thrown in for variety. The first kitten had a broken leg and was euthanized followed by the second cat with what I now speculate to be a huge abscess that I am exploring and opening on Monday. Once home and again on call, I received not one but two calls about the same dog convincing the owner to wait till her appointment tomorrow. Then there was a phone call about a horse with a hoof abscess who I went out to see. I was unable to get the horse shoe off but luckily the farrier was around and easily removed it. He even commented that it was tight. I finally got to sit down at about 10:30.
Yesterday, Joe and I went to go look at a pony cart I found on CraigsList. It became very clear to me when I put in the address into Yahoo! Maps that it was a very small world. The cart was actually at a vet clinic-a vet clinic at which someone I had previously met before worked at-previously met before and knew her husband (also a vet) pretty well. We got there, bought the cart and were invited on a tour of the beautiful clinic.
That night, we went down to the barn with the cart. It is in really rough shape but we decided that it would be better to have Nell try it out before repairing it than repairing it only for her to break it suddenly. Joe tried line driving her first and quickly realized all my frustration with her inability to turn right and inabilty to stop without looking at me. We dragged the cart around behind her before hitching her and leading her around. She did reasonably well. You should have seen Nell's face though when Joe got in the cart! Horrified! But being the good pony she is, Nell just trooped on.
We'll hitch her again tonight. I'm hoping to have Nell ready for a show in August in Western PA. BF said I could borrow his horse trailer so that will be nice. I got the show bill and performance is limited to driving classes so Cody won't be going. I don't see the point in bringing him because he is horribly underweight and has a leg that turns out. He just isn't in any condition to be a halter horse. We have been working him on obstacle and I was going to have him ready to jump at this show but no such luck. Nell can do halter (maybe) and drive too. There is still a lot of things that I need to finish putting Nell together for a show. This list includes:  a hitch for the car, overcheck and cavisson for the harness, clippers, whitening shampoo, show sheen, hoof polish, baby powder, hair gel and probably a thousand other things I haven't quite remembered yet. And show halter if I plan on putting her in halter.
Anyway, we'll see how Nell is doing in a couple of weeks. And I should ask Joe how long he thinks it will take him to refinish the cart. The show entry deadline is July 29th, mine is like the 15th for deciding. And I need to make sure I can borrow the horsetrailer and am not oncall that weekend too.

Doing Things For Myself

I talk alot about my perfect day off. My perfect day off where the dogs have seemed to disappear, I can nap without guilt, I get household stuff done, I watch movies, it rains (but not over my clothesline where my clothes are drying) and so on. Its a day with infinate time. However, this day doesn't and will never exist. I hate doing errands on my day off. I decided last week that I wasn't going to go grocery shopping on my day off any more because it took up too much of my day. So we did it Sunday.
Even though today, I only planned on going to work the ponies (and somewhat begrudgingly at that), I ended up having to do multiple other things as well. Such as euthanize a pony. More on that later. I had a package to mail (though I though the PO would be closed since its Flag Day), a shirt to take to the dry cleaners and some fabric to buy without having any plans for something to make from it (a quilt is the current thought). I did get a nap in and then get all those blogs published. Laundry is out on the line and I'm going to get started on dishes and dinner once I'm done here. I really could clean up the house, wash Sadie (who ran away and came back smelling horrible!), clean the inside of my car and maybe go get it washed too. And I have some intracate dinner to make as well. I wonder when Joe is going to be home?

Anywho, I guess I'll finish this up and try to carve some time away from sitting on my butt to do some of the other things I wanted to do...or at least some of the things that I needed to do. Where is the motivation fairy?

There she is!

Regarding the pony I euthanized today...Last Saturday, when I was working large animal I was way out in Gardners (about 30 minutes from Newville) going to look at a horse when I get a call about a pony in Newville with a bad laceration. I relay that it will be an hour before I can get there or more and that if the wound is bleeding to to apply pressure. After looking at a horse that didn't need to be looked at, I went back to Newville. Once I was going down the driveway to the horse, I was shocked. There was a little gray pony stallion standing on three legs. His third leg was obviously cut. The owner met me and told me that the horse had did this last night around dusk but there wasn't anything that could be done in the dark. The leg was cut at the coronary band and the hoof was hanging on like wearing too big of a shoe. I told the owner that it didn't look good. I relayed all of my fears about the injury to him and he understood but wanted to try. So we bandaged the foot and hoped for the best. I looked at it on Wednesday and the hoof was still there and the granuation tissue of the wound looked good. I posted it on VIN, got some ideas that were only moderately helpful and when I called back about a week later, the owner informed me that the pony had sloughed his foot. He still wanted to give the pony a shot. I went out on Monday and the cannon bone was gone. Monday, I had gone out to encourage euthansia but now I knew there was nothing that could be done. I told the owner this. I think he was looking for confirmation in his mind. Today, I went out to euthanize. I never met a nicer pony. He was a sweet guy. Nicer than even my own ponies. He didn't suffer when going down but it wasn't as smooth as I would like. I'm sad to know that there is one less nice pony stallion in the world. He was great.

Guilt

[EDIT-I wrote this in April just before my computer started hating me. It likes me today. For now.-LP-6/14/11]

Veterinary medicine is like my big Jewish mother. (Not that I have one.) She’s always making me feel guilty for things that I do or don’t do more likely. She also is always comparing me to others. Nothing I can do pleases her. She’s a constant voice nagging me into feeling guilty for things I did or didn’t do. Every lame dog, every vomiting cat, she’s a voice that makes me think I should do more. Every sick cow I see, every farm I leave feeling victorious, she’s a voice that says I should have done something else instead.

Sometimes I know my weaknesses.  I know that I’m not strong at doing abdominal palpation or listening to lung sounds on small animals.  Sometimes I know that once I get into my truck and pull away, that there was something else I could have tried. I wish I didn’t know. I wish that voice would be quieter. Like today, I was lectured regarding a case I saw. There were definitely some mistakes made on my part-some pretty scary ones too but at the time, I felt the correct decisions were being made. Lessons learned. I just wish I would feel a little less guilty about everything I do-right or wrong.

Last week, I was thrown off of a farm. I went out to see a sick cow that might have a twist. When I got there, the old man farmer pulled up on his tractor and started talking to me. The gist of what he had to say was asking where Dr. Farrell (my boss) was. I informed him that I was here to see his sick cow. At this, he replied that he’d prefer if I got back into my truck and turned myself around. I was very confused and having a hard time hearing him over the milk pump. He repeated himself several times before walking back towards his tractor. Now his sons arrived and asked me what was going on. I point blank asked them if they wanted me to look at their cow. They called to the dad and I was then told that they wanted BF to look at this one. So I got back in my truck and headed back to the clinic.

BF eventually got there and did talk to them. To what extent, I’m not sure but the farmer was upset because a couple of weeks prior I had seen one of their cows and she later died. I had consulted over the phone with TH because I was sure it was a RDA and needed some assistance in correcting it. I was told that it was probably something else and to recheck her. I did and the alternative diagnosis seemed reasonable. Maybe it wasn’t. Regardless, cows die and she had been sick with diarrhea for a while. Now she also had ulcers when I saw her.  Oh well, that farm is dirty and creepy anyway.

In other veterinary news, I got my contract today and woot, woot! I got a raise! And some extra money for my insurance which will come in handy!

Joe and I celebrated our first Pennsylvania Easter yesterday. I baked a ham and made all the sides-mashed sweet potatoes, crescent rolls, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and deviled eggs. I also made molten lava cake for dessert. It was good. Well, some of it was good.

Saturday, Joe and I went to the bent and dent. There Joe realized that we really do live in Pennsylvania as there were Amish buggies tied up out front. We spent way too much money on dented cans and broken boxes. Some things will come in handy but I’m not sure we needed all of those different types of BBQ sauce.

Spring has finally arrived. Today, it was in the lower 80s. Of course, it has also rained half the days of the month. It seems like the rain will never end sometimes. With the rain, our back room is one moldy, musty mess with the heavy leak in the roof. Anyway, everything is blooming and looks so pretty. Joe and I have tried to get into the yard to do some yardwork but with our schedules and the rain, its proving difficult. At least now, we have all of our stuff. I soaked the bulbs so I can plant them. Yesterday, I planned our flower boxes and put down some Roundup. The weeds only look so-so towards dying. The yard still needs to be mowed (the second time) and the mulch laid down. (In addition, to planting the bulbs.) Despite all the rainy days, the house is no closer to becoming clean. I just don’t have the motivation. The pantry was cleaned out but that’s about the extent of the spring cleaning. Eventually, I’ll do it.

Joe is freaking out about money which is understandable because in addition to the ponies’ board, we just added on a large car payment. The upside is if I stop being lazy, I can get work to pay for our insurance which will free up about the same as the car payment. Joe constantly is asking if this bill or that bill got paid and I am always reassuring him that it did. I honestly don’t know what he’d do if I wasn’t around to pay things. Not do it I guess.

So its after Easter meaning that its time for Joe and I to start going to church. Now I set this deadline twice already-August and January with no luck. But its important for us to get started so that it will be easier for us to claim a wedding date at St. Rose. Right now, our wedding is essentially theoretical. We probably should just elope. I’m not sure even how that works. I want a dress and some presents!

My mom told me today that an ex-boyfriend was in a car accident a few weeks ago. Someone hit him and he had multiple broken bones. I think about him every now and then. I thought HE was the one but it seems that being the one for him wasn’t going to happen as rapidly as I wanted it too. I’m actually sort of upset regarding his accident. I want to reach out to him and his family but I know its not appropriate. We didn’t end on bad terms but its been like seven years. Would he even remember me? We’ve both moved on. And the fact that he’s not on Facebook makes stalking very difficult!

So regarding Facebook, I have somewhere closing in on 300 friends. Every last one of them, I have met or know in some way. I’d be able to recognize them if they came up to me in Wal-Mart. (At least, I hope so!) Regardless, there are lots of these ‘friends’ that I am not really friends with. Some of these ‘friends’ for this reason I should defriend. But then there are some of them that are just fun to snoop on. How do you have five kids in ten years since high school? Really? There are some people that I have elected to bump off of my news feed because I can’t deal with their statuses. Constant babble about how much their life sucks or how great it is. On and on they go about how sick they are or how much their baby poops. Other things that will make me drop you from my news feed is constant political talk. I don’t care how liberal or conservative you are. In fact in regards to people that are super liberal, if you talk about how much you hate people that are conservative and what they believe in, that actually makes you a hate monger. Hypocrite.  There, I finally said it. Stop hating the haters.

And finally, I think at least, the ponies are doing rather well here. Unfortunately, Cody has developed a bit of a complex and can be a jerk when not being worked with Nell. Today, I worked the two of them in the round pen together before putting up Nell and working Cody on obstacles. He’s doing well with the poles and has gotten over the fear of the mailbox. Today, he was even crossing over the bridge. Nell is going to get working on driving as soon as I get my bridle back from the Amish guy. Then I have to buy a cart. So some things that I need-a pony cart, some jump standards and poles, a hula hoop and some cones. And a set of clippers. And a horse trailer.

Oh, yes, I got my vacation for next month. Joe and I are going to Ocean City, Maryland. Nothing really planned. Sunday, will be spent in Baltimore including a trip to Pimlico the weekend before the Preakness and probably going to the national aquarium. Then the week in OC.

Okay, this is the last thing. Joe and I are finally on a similar sleeping schedule which is really nice. The cat enjoys sleeping on my pillow too. However, we still essentially have separate bedrooms. How do I correct this? There isn’t enough dresser or closet space for both of our clothes. I’m not sure that I can go about girling up Joe’s room without him being upset. I guess I’ll figure it out one way or another.