First-Bovine Club is having a meeting, which I signed up to attend. They are going to have something about the Summer Dairy Institute. Wouldn't you think that you would want someone that attended to speak about it, esp. since I offered? Hmmm...Well, I'm attending because they are having chicken rather than gross Bandana's.
So New Year's. Joe and I sat around and did nothing. We ate some dip. Had some steaks and potatoes. Had some fantastic popcorn from the Whirly Pop. We watched a movie. We kissed at midnight without all of the fanfare that should accompany it. One day, I hope to have a New Year's like a 20 something should. One day, I hope to dress slightly slutty and go out. I hope to get wasted and have random pictures of myself taken wearing plastic top hats and blowing horns. I hope to dance and sing and hope to make out with Joe (or whoever) very publicly. Oh, to dream the impossible (unlikely) dream! Sigh.
So a gross story. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a lump in my left ear. It was right at the beginning of the ear canal and was fairly soft. Eventually, it would get bigger and started to hurt. From what I could feel, because given its location I couldn't see it, it was very swollen and tight and pretty much expanded across the ear canal. I had Joe try to poke it with a needle but nothing came out. I rigged up a second mirror which allowed me to look at my own ear. This lump was gross. It was a boil or giant zit or something. I tried to pack it with a warm washclothe but that was hard given the location. I tried to poke it myself with a pin, but it was difficult. I managed to do it and the next morning had the smallest amount of dried serum in my ear. You know, that grainy yellow stuff that comes from wounds when its not blood and its not pus. My ear still hurt.
Then one day, I was walking down the stairs, I was carrying a spoon and doing little else. I slipped on the edge of one of the stairs and fell down several stairs. I pulled my arm as I tried to grab the handrail. I hurt my toes and my butt. Eventually, there was linear bruise across one side of my butt. But after I got up and downstairs and stopped crying (Okay, I only sort of cried.), I touched my still sore ear. And pulled away a fingertip covered in pus. So of course, I did it again and still pulled away another fingertip of pus. At this point, I retreated upstairs and using Q-tips, cleaned my ear the best I could pushing the giant lump. But for the most part, it was done and empty. Eventually, the swelling would go down and I would be left with a scabby place that I can't see in my ear. So the solution to a giant gross lump in your ear? Fall down the stairs.
[EDIT-Originally published to Blogger on January 3, 2011.]
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