I think that since leaving high school, I have done pretty much what I was destined to do. I'm super happy with where I am in my life right now-I graduate from vet school (a life long dream) in about a month, I have a fantastic boyfriend and we're so very close (though further than I thought) to getting engaged and hopefully, I will get that fantastic job in Pennsylvania that I've dreamed of since first year (or maybe second year) EXCEPT for one thing. I don't have a baby.
I look at the Facebook profile pages of my high school classmates and it seems that all of them are getting married and having kids. Yet here I am no husband, no kids.
Joe and I really want a baby. We're both ready for this in our relationship. Every month I'm faced with the decision to take birth control for that month or not. I always choose to do it.
Somewhere in the back of my head, I know that now isn't the time. I know that I should be selfish and wait for a baby-wait till Joe and I are married, wait till I have a job, wait till I've actually worked at that job for any significant period of time. Its just so hard. I want a baby. I want a little beautiful Joe (because its already been proven that the Mulvaney genes stomp any other genes) to be my own.
Sigh. That day will come. It will come sooner rather than later. Joe's already promised that we would have a baby by the time I was thirty. That's only three years away. (At which, Joe freaked out realizing the varying ages of himself, Alex and his parents when they had kids versus the age of my parents when they had kids.)
I can wait right now. But it isn't easy.
[EDIT-Originally, published to Blogger on April 12, 2011.]
I look at the Facebook profile pages of my high school classmates and it seems that all of them are getting married and having kids. Yet here I am no husband, no kids.
Joe and I really want a baby. We're both ready for this in our relationship. Every month I'm faced with the decision to take birth control for that month or not. I always choose to do it.
Somewhere in the back of my head, I know that now isn't the time. I know that I should be selfish and wait for a baby-wait till Joe and I are married, wait till I have a job, wait till I've actually worked at that job for any significant period of time. Its just so hard. I want a baby. I want a little beautiful Joe (because its already been proven that the Mulvaney genes stomp any other genes) to be my own.
Sigh. That day will come. It will come sooner rather than later. Joe's already promised that we would have a baby by the time I was thirty. That's only three years away. (At which, Joe freaked out realizing the varying ages of himself, Alex and his parents when they had kids versus the age of my parents when they had kids.)
I can wait right now. But it isn't easy.
[EDIT-Originally, published to Blogger on April 12, 2011.]
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