Four Dogs Is Too Many

OR
Neighbor Drama
OR
Why Joe and I Are Suckers

So last Sunday at 10pm, there was a knock on the door which of course set the dogs into a frenzy. At 10pm on Sunday, there can really only be one reason for a knock at the door. The neighbors need something. The dog got skunked, the cat ran off, Dennis (the landlord) is being a bully...the list goes on for absolutely ridiculous reasons. Reasons that should never involve us. But some how always do. And of course, our neighbors don't realize the concept of real human being time. Just because my light is on at ten, doesn't mean that I am ready to discuss your various problems with you. Try me at 10am. Or noon. Or 5pm. Those are reasonable times.

Anyway, maybe I should give you some background on our neighbors. Our neighbors are a couple of losers, white trash. They are in their mid to late thirties and unmarried. In most states, they'd be common law man and wife by now but Pennsylvania doesn't recognize common law marriages. They have a kid that's about a year and half old. He's cute. They have a dog and a handful of cats. They always manage to find drama and sometimes this drama is very entertaining. This summer, Alex had three major heart attacks and subsquently hasn't been able to go to work. Or mow the yard but that's a different story.

So now we can go back to last Sunday at 10pm. I answer the door amid the crazy barking of the dogs and its Alex. He proceeds to tell me that they got behind on the rent and are being evicted. They have to be out by the next morning. We bash our landlord and the ultimately he asks if they can store their stuff underneath our carport until they can get a rental truck (Monday or Tuesday). I agreed and moved the car.

Fast forward about an hour and half. I have showered and got into bed. Joe has woken up and is playing video games. This time the doorbell rings. The dogs freak out but they are in the crates at least. This time its Patty. I'm sure she's crying. I'm sure she's hysterical. Joe runs out and gives them $45. He may have promised to help them move until going to work in morning.

Monday morning, I get up and am pulling out of the driveway, Patty frantically waves me down. The constable (I had to think really hard about what a constable was.) is coming at 9am. Things aren't packed. The baby has only just gone to bed. Alex has only had one short nap. She's been up all night. Patty is crying hysterically because she's not going to get everything done. She has no place to go. I give her our spare key (bad idea) so that after they get kicked out she can sit there with the baby. I promise to send Joe over in a little while.

Joe eventually heads over there to help them finish packing. One of the other neighbors apparently is there helping too. At nine, as promised, the constable and our landlord shows up. Joe talks to them calmly and rationally because he doesn't have anything to lose. They agree to give them till 1pm to finish. Joe goes into work late. When I get home from work, there is an entire mound of stuff in our carport. There is no place for me to park. Sigh.

Tuesday morning, I hear nothing from the neighbors. I stay away as long as I can but eventually go back home around 2:30. An hour or so later, I'm upstairs in my office preparing to work on dog costumes when there is a knock. Patty is there with the dog (who we have agreed to watch even though she doesn't like our dogs). The truck is coming. They are moving everything into a storage unit. The neighbor has the kid. The truck eventually shows up and Alex and I go at loading it. We're booking it. Patty meanwhile is talking nonstop and digging through packed up baby clothes so that she can give some of the newborn stuff to the other neighbor who just had a baby. The truck is mostly loaded now. Its around 5:30. Alex and Patty need to get to the storage unit that closes at 7. There is still a crap ton of stuff under my carport. Oh, and the neighbor that has the kid has to take her kid to football practice. So we stuff the dog into my house and then I go watch the kid for about 20 minutes. Luckily, the kid is asleep the whole time. Just about dark, they show up again with the truck. Its actually after seven at this time. So in the dark, we load the rest of the truck. Joe shows up just before finishing. That wasn't the end of it. We still end up have to chat with the neighbors to be polite. They eventually take the dog and leave.

I don't think we heard from them on Wednesday. There was still a crap ton of stuff-cat stuff that they were going to donate when they took the cats to the pound-at our house.

Thursday, they eventually get a hold of us. The dog gets dumped at our house. The shelter couldn't take the cats (I told them they wouldn't.). (Did I mention that one of the cats is missing the whole time? I think I saw it the other day.) Later in the day, I get a frantic phone call and eventually return it. They found a place here in Carlisle but the cats have no place to go. Can we take them? I defer to Joe who says no. We have the dog through Sunday as directed by Joe. A friend of theirs pick her up. The house fell through. Hopefully, that's the end of the drama.