It snowed. Again. Friday night as I was planning to go see Joe. Acutally, I was at Chili's eating with some friends when it started. I love baby back ribs! But I had my Mulvaney fix anyway. I saw Gabbi (well, I guess that she's not a Mulvaney anymore but that's beside the point) and Scott. They'd wandered up from Jeff City. It was exciting. So I went home and pouted about not going since it was still snowing and blowing like crazy.
I thought about going Saturday morning, but called MODOT at 4:20am and Jason there told me that lots of the interstate around KC was still snow covered because the second round was moving through. Sigh. Thanks for crushing all hope, Jason. I spent most of the day on the couch. Now its Sunday, and I motivated myself enough to come into school and do some AT sets.
I miss Joe. I can't wait for him to move down here. I can't wait to help him move and help him pack. I can't wait to help him clean and unpack. I can't wait to be able to make dinner for him and for him to come home from work only to find me asleep in his bed. I can't wait for someone else to take care of my dog when I hate her.
I thought about dying last night. More specifically if I was dying from cancer. I think that if I went to the doctor and they were going to tell me that I have X months to live, I'd prefer not knowing how long. Tell me that I will die, I'll plan my funeral and then just wait without knowing. And then also I thought given the option between getting treatment (and being miserable while doing so) and living for six months afterward -OR- not gettting treatment and living for only three months (and only being miserable the last couple weeks when you're actually dying), I'd choose the later. I'd rather be miserable for less time and have less time overall. It would be better for me to continue to do what I like for three months than to be sick for a month or two for what boils down to only three months of not being sick before dying. Its pretty much the same. I asked Joe the same and he choose the first option ( six months) but his reason was totally dorky and he makes me love him even more. (That or hate him, I'm not too sure.)
[EDIT-Orginially published to Blogger on February 20, 2011.]
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