Clear Blue (It Isn't) Easy

Welcome back fans of TMI.
As you know, in June I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries (PCOS) which was the reason I wasn't having a period and why I wasn't getting pregnant. My doctor was sort of skeptical at first but after bloodwork and an ultrasound was convinced.
So in August, I started on Clomid, had sex, had bloodwork and then found out that my estrogen and progesterone levels did increase however they weren't enough to suggest ovulation. In September, I doubled my Clomid dose. This made me feel just ADR. I repeated bloodwork but my doctor who is the queen of calling me at 6pm on Friday while I'm doing a calving or cutting a c-section hasn't called me back. The nurse told me that my estrogen went up from like 92 to 290 which is great. Until you start googling that at ovulation the level is around 400. Then you get sad.
The past few days though my boobs have been feeling sore. And today felt bigger. (Actually last week a tech commented on them.) Tonight, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.
For me, even before we got a diagnosis I never wanted to lump myself in with people suffering from infertility. I'm still not sure I want to but with each month that passes it gets harder to not think about it. Everyone at work knows my business which isn't good but I have no where else to turn. My mom keeps assuring me that if it doesn't happen that it's not the end of the world which makes me sad and confused. Why is she saying these things? It's not helpful or supportive.
I'm ready to have a baby. I know that I won't pursue IVF because 1) financially I can't and 2) I feel that if I was intended to have a baby that I wouldn't have to. No you can look at it and say 'well, you're taking medications to help you get pregnant, what's the difference?' And I'll say that it's my body so shut the fuck up.
At least now with a negative pregnancy test I can rest assured that the beer I drank on Monday, the X-rays I helped to take on Tuesday and consistently forgetting my vitamins did not scare a bundle of cells. At least I hope.